Chasing Pavements

changes. again. thats all we have in life. huge big crazy changes that rock our world and we can't do anything but evolve with it no matter how painful those changes may be. I keep chasing this idea of what relationships should be. and yes like adele it leads no where. my objective in life gets unclear when i'm coasting and surrounded by what and who i love. but when i have enough alone time and enough time to reflect enough time to realize that I AM in fact alone. my objective becomes clear. to belong. to be a part of something. friendships, boyfriends, this career. being a super senior has put me on the outside yet again. I'm gone but not really. here but not really here. not here enough to be involved in the lives of my friends that I held so tight to last year. and i'm dealing. disappointing? yes. some relationships have changed for the better. but i still feel myself not letting myself just LET GO. because shouldn't it be worth it? but when all i do is try and get nothing back? i can't help but want to let go of them? i shouldn't need proof. but right now? with all this going on. I Do. prove yourself to me.