Key West

catch up! jazzed. keywested out. night hops bar hops, quizzo. Monkey's with a gun. rumrunners, queen out. gay bars, i can say i went to keywest and made out with a stripper. hot. tattoos, wings. friends. duval street, drag queen bar with my mother. palm trees, snorkeling, DOLPHINOS! and the baby dolphins. sooo cute. remind me to show you what the baby did. i do great dolphin impersonations. kyaking for HOURS. bonding with robin. i agree with eva, sibling love is good for the soul. key lime mojitos.

today...Chris' jazzz cafe with lynn and jon. ha. great band. amazing drummer. capagiro gelato. fucking amazing. banana's foster and mocha. mmm. more painting tomorrow. in the middle of reading the power of the actor by ivana chubbuck. VERY good book. i like her method a lot. jasmine just left. i love that girl.

so happy about dreamgirls. :) so gay.

not so bad...

suprisingly the talk didn't end up with us bleeding. ohhh rollinnnngggg.......and suprisingly i didn't make out with anyone although sooomeeee peoplllee made out. ha. I just don't understand self homophobia. and then to act on it? boggles. share my bed please then move on in for the unexpected kill. now i understand how it feels to be betrayed by a friend. i understand. BUt I felt bad after, i hurt myself over it. I bet he feels absolutely nothing. except possible guilt. I never knew that he wanted him. whatevs. SO over cabbage patches. i don't wanna drag myself into that again.

I'm glad i got this off my mind now, its not something that i worry about anymore. speaking my drunk high mind allowed me to let go of the last string. unfurl my wings. they are featheryyyyy.

I been on this kick to find out more about my biological parents for some reason. roots. i think it would ground me more. i'd like to plant my feet on solid ground and know where and who i came from. hmm.

look who got the best of karma.

new beginnings, endings. 22. blah. can anyone say KARMA. who can say. Uncensored. who said it was ok for you to walk back in my life. you're not invited. you get the message. who knows? you certainly don't and won't, can't take responsibility for your actions or see the outcome. i called this. where is the person i knew? gone. doesn't exist anymore. you left. i accepted i was dispensable to you and i've moved on. i'd talk but we'd just talk in circles you blame me i blame you and we end up slitting our wrists together. sorry you're in a bad place. i don't care. things can't be ok cause you haven't done anything to make me ever trust you. Its obvious why you've tryed walking back in. and don' t think this is anything i wouldn't ever say to your face. come in here and and i'd go off. neither of us want to. i'm just an ex. i want things to be ok i do, but can you step up? is it worth it. who knows. i don't know. i can't know, i'm done i'm numb. punch the wall, i don' t feel it anymore. Why do i keep hurting myself? I'm not the one causing me pain. channel it somewhere else. my strength is wavering. i don' t know how much longer. I can't wait for break. tanning in the keys. ooommmggg cannn'ttt waiiiitt...

and scene.