the looking glass

it goes beyond the reflection. I can't seem to get behind the glass. My fingertips glide over the cool smooth fingers of the young boy in his backwards world. he copies my every move as if we were one, but we are two. his eyes are empty, guarded and flighty. He can't look into my eyes and i wonder why. he looks hurt, broken, he has walls. He backs up and we look at each other. his clothes are too big, sleeves too long, jeans ripped at the bottom. i sigh and his shoulders slump forward. we turn both turn away.

I don't know that boy.

Say Goodbye to the Old and Welcome the New...

“who gets to determine when the old ends and the new begins? it’s not on the calendar, it’s not a birthday, it’s not a new year, it’s an event –big or small, something that changes us, ideally it gives us hope, a new way of living and looking at the world, letting go of old habits, old memories. what’s important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning, but it’s also important to remember amid all the crap are a few things really worth holding on to.” - grey's anatomy

Battlefield. stars. camera. lesbian flashlights. new friends. Facebook me. Halloween. Kiss me i'm drunk and dressed like Harry. Movie. kiss me again. Are we moving too fast? how can that question be answered when neither of us know what we want? Dance with me. We are where we are. Day by day. moment to moment. We both aren't ready and have our plates full.

Maybe i open up too fast to people... Messy messy Jesse. Pull on the reins, don't look back. move foward. Maybe this is why i'm not ready. too raw. I need new skin that won't let people get underneath it. I can't help the random welcome mat in front of my heart. I know there were two metaphors there. ADD can't help it. on another note. C# to be exact, welcoming in the new has let me once and for all say goodbye to the old.

LOVE katie thompson. sang gurl.

tappin' out.