"I didn't feel a thing and now I'm gone, gone, gone "

So how many times have i heard myself say i just don't care. and not connected that to anything. i was wrong. because i don't. i don't care. i don't care about school, going to classes, singing, the show, my relationships, myself, music. i don't care about caring. things all seem shades of grey. and we know that my add ass is only attracted to bright shiny colorful shit. nothing really matters anymore. its amazing what a little pamalar 8 mg pill can do for me. and yet, the tears won't flow. they're there. i feel it, them. I was waiting for it to hit me really hard. like a few days of privately crying to myself. Nothing like that at all, just very slowly, the joy started to leave. daddy told me when he stopped, he began losing interest and motivation in everything. it's weird, it's beginning to take its toll. goodddd job jesse, now pay up. no motivation because of no reward. yes, it's time to admit that i need it.

"can I refill my prescription please? thank you."