lazy tony day

last night - 2 pitchers of margaritas, porn shop game,long subway rides, shut eye til 1 today...diner, 2 eggs, rye toast, cornbeef hash, orange juice. shop. harry potter chamber of secrets. can't wait for the new one. yawn. procrastinate, its what i'm best at. follow the spiders ron and harry. amara's laughing. bevin's typing. hmm tap tomorrow. itchy leg. sleepy blue couch. phone call. pizza, harry potter and the goblet of fire, tonys, laundry. lazzyyyy tony sunday.


conflicted. as always. maybe she's right. maybe it would be better. for me. o where for art thou? for fuckin real already. lol. i was patient and then it took too long. anya puts it best.

sometimes its on the surface, the skin, hot & sweaty, the intoxicating rush and plummeting thrill. the danger, the hunt. sometimes i try digging deeper, not finding anything but old roots that are forbidden to unearth. sometimes nothing is there at all. empty shells surround me. trying to find it in the wrong places. it. it. that. all wrong. theres no time. yet all there is is time. conficted. drop it. let go. its breakable i reply unsure of myself. i find myself again and again. right where i started. shit. for real?